S.O.S.

I feel at my breaking point. The teeth cutting compounded by getting shots yesterday and add to that no sleep and you have created the child that is my Nyla.

It's the crying, the crying, the crying, the no sleep, the crying. And last night I just threw up my white flag and cried with her. I'm so frustrated these last few days. She's not sleeping, she's crying all the time, she won't stand for anything but being held. It's so frustrating.

Last night, my father came to my rescue. For the umpteenth night in a row, Nyla woke up an hour after we put her to bed. This wouldn't be a problem except for she's not sleeping at all through the night...not even close. I haven't slept in weeks and it's taking its toll.

I finally came downstairs last night and my dad said, "Elizabeth, let me take her." I just told him no because this is part of it, this is part of raising kids. But then she started to cry and she started getting super fussy again. After awhile, I just let my dad take over. Being the experienced parent and loving grandfather, he put her to sleep and took her up to her crib. I, on the other hand, sat crying in the dining room.

I haven't cried like that since the day I went back to work. I was sobbing just as my Nyla was doing a few minutes before. I asked my dad, "Was it like this for you guys?" and I was reassured with a yes. But that doesn't make this situation any easier.

Millions of parents do this everyday and I wonder, how do people even have more than one child?! If you ask me today, I am very opposed to having another baby. There is stress on me individually, tension in my marriage, sleepless nights for everyone; why go through this again? But we'll see. Maybe (hopefully) tomorrow I will feel different.