I will never go to the mall in the morning again. Especially not right when it opens because the Mall Walkers are there. You know, the Mall Walkers. The people who actively wake up in the morning, get their athletic gear on, and parade around the mall at warp speed. The average age of a Mall Walker is 77, but there is a growing population: people with babies.
At Washington Square this morning, within the first five minutes, I passed eight people with strollers. EIGHT. Apparently I don't know Mall Walkers' etiquette because I was getting the side-eye from everyone. Maybe I was on the wrong side of the walkway? Maybe I wasn't walking fast enough? I had Nyla in her stroller and thought I was doing fine. But I felt like I was in bumper strollers! These parents come straight at you like sharks with their strollers aimed like torpedoes. I had to dodge over 20 stroller-pushing people! They are walking like maniacs and will damn near run over anyone, including a fellow stroller-pusher like me!
And you know who I hate the most out of the Mall Walking Society of people? The two women today who, while they passed right next to me, sneered and gave me the up-and-down look. You know what, you two overachieving Mall Walkers? You are not all that, you and your yoga pants and Asics shoes. Stop giving people dirty looks and move on with your parade. I am happy to just be strolling with my Nylabelle, thank you.
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