Dirty Looks

Okay, moms of Baby Reading Time at the library. I was late today! Get over it and stop giving me dirty looks! "Oh look at that pathetic mom. She's late! Ugh, disrupting my 6-week-old's developing reading skills time." Get over yourself and your child. He just barfed on his blanket.

Today was the first time we went to Baby Reading Time at our library, and it really was fun! Nyla loved it and had a good time. I was a whopping three minutes late and was looked at like I had just interrupted the President speaking. Hello, I'm sorry. You all should understand! Thankfully, after the momentary side-eyes I was getting from everyone, they all went back to playing with their babies.

Since it was our first time, I felt like an idiot. Everyone else knew the words to the songs. Everyone else knew the movements/actions you were supposed to do with your baby. Everyone else seemed to know exactly what to do at what moment, except for me. I was lost. So on top of being late, I was also wrong with my moves and my song lyrics and my vocal tone. Disastrous. There is literally nothing more diminishing of one's spirit than not participating at the standard, you know? I felt great about being there; I was happy and excited to play with Nyla and listen to a story with her. But once the songs and movements started and everyone knew it but me, I felt the size of an ant and wanted to run for cover.

Thankfully the lady leading the group was really kind and didn't make me feel like a moron at all. And really, it's not about me is it? It's about my Nylabelle and she walked around and played with other kids and had a great time. That's the important part for me! Next week, though, I'll be on-time and prepared and ready to fa-la-la-la with all of them.

Here's the thing, though: when everyone was reading or singing along with the leader and their baby, I felt like I was among alien lifeforms. They were all speaking in baby tones and giggling and like in the zone with their baby. I mean a full circle of 15 or so adults just in a trance with their child. I felt like they were almost possessed by baby-ness. Am I supposed to be this way? Creeeeeeeeeeepy. I love Nyla, but I guess I just express it in a different way.