You know, I thought that having a baby in bed with us would be a wonderful experience. It would be all snuggles and cuddling and kisses. Baby Nyla would just crawl right up to me and tuck her head into me and she would just coo herself to sleep. We would sleep soundly for 8 hours, waking up refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to face the world.
It is absolutely not like that.
My brother has been here and he's been staying in Nyla's room, so she has been in bed with us for the last two nights. There's no snuggling; there's no cuddling. And there is most definitely no 8 hours of sleep! Homegirl has her own agenda while she sleeps, and at the top of that agenda: kick and punch Mommy and Daddy all night. She sleeps insane.
I've tried to keep a hand on her at all times just to know where she is and give myself a peace of mind. Yesterday morning, I woke up holding her ankle and her head was down by my knees on top of the covers. How she got there, I don't know. Seriously, I think she does her little acrobatic tricks when we're asleep.
It's not even good sleep either! I spend almost the entire night in that half-sleep state, where some of my brain is turned off but I'm mostly awake, afraid I'm going to roll on her or land an elbow on her face. So instead of having lovely, snuggly, cuddly, deep sleep, we're having probably the worst sleep of our lives besides when she was a newborn.
We cannot wait for that crib to be available again. Yes, I have loved having her near, but I'm ready to sleep and I'm ready to stretch out. Call me selfish, that's okay.
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