Thank you Nyla for sleeping all night last night. Mommy completely needed it! I'm thinking she needed it too. She started squirming last night around 2:30 and I thought to myself, "Not again." But then homegirl just fell back asleep. Yes!
You know, I love my Nyla. But this not consistently sleeping is for the birds. I'm over it. I'm ready for her to sleep through the night for like a week straight. I'm sleep deprived, for sure. When I don't get good sleep, I'm highly irritable. I don't take it out on Nyla, though; it's not like she's doing it on purpose. Most of the time, I just get irritable with Paul. Isn't that awful? But he just so happens to be the only adult that comes around that I can dump my "I haven't slept in a week" load on a daily basis. Poor guy. I try not to irritate him, but sometimes it just happens.
I mostly find myself going to my happy place in my mind, which is a calming beach with my hammock and me swinging as the ocean waves lap around me. The reality is that I'm usually sitting in the middle of a toy-decorated living room with a child farting in my face or trying to eat my nose or (my favorite) crying. This makes for a distressing situation.
There are days where I feel like I need a timeout. I need time to be alone: no baby, no husband, no dog, no children's toys, no Yo Gabba Gabba, no bouncy chair with its stupid song, no changing diapers. I need a quiet timeout. Thankfully Paul is understanding about this. Sometimes I'll go to Target, sometimes it's to the library. It doesn't matter where I go, as long as it's my own time by myself. That I feel is my savior right now. If I didn't have my alone time, I'm relatively certain I would be pulling my hair out in clumps...hourly.
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