They Should Put That On The Label

We've switched Nyla to soy formula because it says it's easier on the tummy for babies to digest. Also some of my family and friends who are mommies have told us that it's better for babies. Right on!

Well what everyone, including the packaging company, failed to tell us is that her poop would be like logs and she would have a hell of a time getting it out! Our poor baby Nylabear. She is super struggling with pooping. Who would've thought that going to the bathroom is this hard? Hmmm...I'm thinking that Nyla is a little young to be having log poops. Shouldn't she still be having that peanut butter textured green stuff? Bleh. Well, whatever shape it comes out, it still smells the same: heinous.

Also I've come to notice that it is a reality that my life revolves around her pooping. My life revolves around baby poop. Great. I have many worries in my life: money, job, happiness, Okie's barfing up my socks. But my number one worry is Nyla's poop. This is my life.

Lastly, later this week, my blog will be taken over by my husband for a few days. He's going to be staying home with Nylabear as we get ready to move to the Portland area. Paul didn't have much time with her right after she was born, so he's excited to get a week and a half with our girl all to himself. I'm excited to hear about his adventures with Nyla-the crying, the pooping, the barfing. It's going to be great!

"I'm excited, guys."

How Do Moms Do It?

Two things.

1. Nyla slept through the night last night. The WHOLE night! Yes! Yes! Yes! I feel renewed.

2. How do non-coffee drinking moms get through the day? The morning?? It's like I open my eyes in the morning and the first thought that goes through my mind is "triple grande nonfat stirred caramel macchiato." (Yeah, I'm that person at Starbucks)

I have a morning routine. Wake up, change Nyla, nurse her, then coffee. It's like clockwork every morning and usually is occurring right around 5:30-6. I have tried to go the morning without my coffee...it's not cute. Not cute at all. My coffee is my link to reality, my little "welcome to the world, Elizabeth" everyday. And with me being in such a haze each morning from middle of the night feedings, I need it!

But what I need more than anything is an espresso machine so I can make my foo-foo drink myself! That would make this whole process even better! Oh Nachoooooooooooo....

Well, I'm a Mom

Here are the ways I know that I'm a mother:

1. I have a child.

2. I also have a little flabby area above my "credit cards" that are remnants of a 9-month inflation.

3. I leave the house looking a mess in pajamas to go through the drive-thru for coffee right after nursing the baby. Today I went in purple coffee pajamas with a red Oklahoma jacket and grey house slippers...cuuuuuute.


4. I now wear jeans that are classified as "high rise" which means I have a mom-butt*.

5. I pulled my underwear above my pants (ON PURPOSE) because it was more comfortable.

6. I wear underwear that is actually big enough to pull above my pants.

7. I cut my hair short (thankfully it's super cute!).

8. I'm struggling to buy anything for me, and will buy everything for Nylabear...except coffee. I have no problems buying that.

9. I sing crappy lullabies with no melody to Nyla because I think she likes it. Example lullaby: "Oooooh Nylaaaaa you are so sweet and your feet are cuteeeeeeeeee and we're walking around the house and mommmmmmyyyy needs to do the laundryyyyyyyyy" I'm a natural born songwriter.


10. I love my Nylabear more than life itself. That's how I really know I'm a mama.

Loving it!

Hi everyone.

*mom butt: where the back pockets of your pants are not on your buttcheeks, but on your back, thus making your ass look like the size of Zimbabwe. Mothers like this style because it enables them to wear their pants directly underneath their boobs. It's all about the comfort, I'm telling you!

She's None Too Happy

As a forewarning, this post is all about poop.

Our girl was none too happy last night...all day actually. She was constipated. And if I thought she was constipated before, I was wrong. This was true, stuck in butt, difficult to push out, painful constipation for our girl.

After a few hours of pushing to no avail, I decided that I would take her diaper down a little bit and push her legs back when she was trying to push out her poop. That's right, I was going to help her push her poop out. This is my life.

She finally did poop, and it wasn't regular baby splatter poop. She had a solid log. No wonder it was hurting her! I'm thinking she's a little young to be having those solid poo-poos! She should still be crapping peanut butter texture stuff.

How sad. My life is totally consumed by Nyla's pooping: its color, texture, smell, frequency...I'm just ready for her to be regular! Then maybe I can start worrying about other things--like baby barf. :)

Growth Spurt #2

Wowza. Our little girl is a growing machine. We're in growth spurt #2 right now and she's eating all the time! Our Nylabear is going to be a grown girl before we know it! But with this hungriness also comes a ridiculous amount of fussiness. OMG this weekend was just torture! Crying, crying, crying, whining, whining, whining. Usually she's not a fussy baby, but man! She was ridiculous this past weekend. And last night, she didn't sleep that well either. She woke up at 1 a.m. which is a time we haven't seen in weeks because she's been sleeping so good. This morning, though, she was a hungry hippo! It came to a point where I didn't even put my shirt back on...I just put her down, laying next to me, and let her nurse when she wanted. You know those pictures of newborn puppies nursing on their mamas? Yeah, that's what Nyla and I looked like.

In other news, we've switched her formula to a soy formula. Yes, we've become those people. It seems easier on her tummy, as she pooped twice in one day when we started her on it. Yep, we judge how much she likes the food by how she poops. Ahhh life is fun. But don't worry; we won't be buying her any organic clothing...yet.

Today Nyla also barfed on another student. Is it wrong for me to laugh? I'm just happy it wasn't me for once! She still has a really enjoyable habit of barfing down my boobs. What a wonderful moment that is, feeling and smelling soy formula dripping down my chest. Thank you, Nyla. You are a gem. :)

Someone Has Her Fussy Pants On

Holy fussy baby!

Nyla has been a fussy little girl the last two or three days. In general, she's a calm baby who only throws a little fit when she's hungry. Not the last few days though! It seems like NOTHING is calming to her. Not bottles, not boobie, not swinging, not playing with her toys. NOTHING.

Well, not nothing. She likes to be held. All the time, even when she's sleeping. But think about the complex we'd give her if we held her every waking second. We don't want her to be overly dependent on someone holding her everyday.

I checked online and it says that babies between 8-10 weeks go through their second growth spurt. That explains everything! We're attributing her fussiness to growing. And Lord knows, she is growing. At 9 weeks today, she is already wearing 3-6 month clothes...and the ones with the footies are snug.  Some of them are so snug in the crotch, her diaper is about to be a camel toe. That's snug.

In other news, her poop is also maturing. What once was peanut-butter like and didn't really have that bad of an odor has morphed into cake icing textured, just flat-out heinous smelling poo. The kind that chokes you a little bit when you open the diaper. Our home is so small that if she poops while she's in the living room, you can smell it in the bedroom...when the doors are closed. And this smell is one you can't shake for awhile. Uncle Woody says that he smelled it for days after babysitting on Friday. What's totally rancid is that this smell will be like roses compared to the scent when she starts eating actual food. Bleh. Thankfully, we have managed to successfully keep her poops in her diapers instead of on us! Small victories for the Ellis family!

Nyla's a Good Girl!

Well, Uncle Woody's first venture into babysitting went wonderfully! I don't think he put her down at all today, just snuggled snuggled snuggled! When Paul got home this afternoon, he found Wood asleep with Nyla passed out on his chest. Awww...Uncle Woody loves his niece.

As predicted, Nyla started Woody's day off with a "fat deuce" as he calls it. Paul and I call it a poopy diaper. Apparently she pooped almost immediately after I left this morning. Full diaper full of poo. Good morning to you, Uncle Woody. He says that it was disgusting. Good girl, Nyla! Then it was a day filled with feeding, a little fussiness, and a whole lot of snuggling.

I hope my Nyla-girl was good for Woody. I think she was because he even offered to do it again sometime! YES! I tried not to be psycho-mom and call him fifty million times today. I think I only called him once and text him once or twice. But you know I was curious all day!

Thanks Wood for watching our girl today! Come back next time and we'll get her to barf on you. :)

Good Luck Uncle Woody!

Well, our 2-month-old baby is at home with my 21-year-old brother Woody today. Today could be an eye-opening experience for him, and will certainly reconfirm to him that he's not ready for children.

Woody has admittedly never changed a diaper in his life. We gave him a quick rundown last night of how to do it...it's common sense, really. The true test will be today because today is the day that Nyla will poop. YES. She goes every three days, and since her last poop was on Tuesday, today is the lucky day! We told Woody that he needs to watch out for her poop diapers because they are heinous. I would kill to be a fly on the wall when he changes that diaper.

Watch, Nyla will be a total angel for him all day today and explode in her diaper the second he leaves, leaving the poop for the parents. Hmm...that sounds more like her. :)

Good luck Uncle Woody! You'll do great today! Thanks for watching our girl!

Hmm...Not Sure I'm Doing That Again

Early this morning (like 3:30), Nyla woke up hungry. Instead of doing like I always do and head out to nurse her on the couch, Paul suggested that I do the "lay-down-and-feed-her-while-she-lays-down" technique of breastfeeding. Okay, sounds good!

So the process is the following: I lie down on one side, Nyla lays right next to me with her face breast-height, and let the breastfeeding begin! Sounds pretty easy and like a technique that would benefit both of us: Nyla could eat, I could continue resting/sleeping. Things actually went really well and Nyla didn't seem to mind this new method.

Apparently I fell asleep during this nursing, which is okay, until when I woke up I realized that Nyla's face was completely under my boob. The panic that set in was instant. Oh my god, I have smothered my daughter with my breast. I could see the headlines: "Death by Booby."

I pulled Nyla out from under my udder and low and behold, she was fine! Better than fine actually; she was passed out asleep. Love it!

I'm not sure if I'll try that whole technique again only because it was so scary seeing her body but not her head because it was under my boob. I sure did like that extra sleep though...we'll see.

The Baby Blues

I love my life. I love my Nyla. I love my family.

There are dark hours, though, and the "baby blues" set in. Our doctor warned us about this feeling; he said most of the time it shows itself as depression. Some women have it last months on end, some have it for only a day or two. For me, I didn't have any signs of post-partum stuff for weeks.

Last week, this changed. I am very happy and satisfied with my life 98% of the day. But it seems like everyday for the last six or seven days, there has been a time span where I am completely unsatisfied with what life has given me. I am almost resentful of this life. Isn't that awful? How selfish of me! But I can't control it; I don't know when it's going to pop up. It just is.

I find myself getting very quiet and introverted during this period of baby blues. And as quickly as it comes,  it goes. But I feel awful during this time because I don't know why I'm feeling this way or what set it off. It doesn't happen at the same time everyday; sometimes it's first thing in the morning. Other days, it's in the evening.

This on-set of baby blues seems to coincide with my return to work. Maybe this post-partum business is happening because I returned to work? There's new emotions that came along with me being back to work. Maybe that's what set it off? Who knows?

My mom says that I need to just keep thinking positively and talk about it openly with my husband, which I have been doing. My friend at work encouraged me to put the smile on my face, even if it's fake, and make myself laugh. I think that's what I'll do the next time this dark period creeps up on me.

I don't like feeling bad right now. It seems almost rude to feel bad right now; how can I feel resentful when I have this precious angel here? But there are times I do feel bad. At least I'm not trying to bottle it up and deal with it myself. I know I would go crazy if I didn't have my husband to talk to about this. I'm hoping that this period of post-partum business is going to quickly come to a close. Crossing fingers!

New Mom Freakout

During the work day, I'm able to go down to the nursery at school and get Nyla during my prep period. I get to nurse her during this time which is really nice. The ladies usually give me a rundown of how her morning went and how she's been acting. On Thursday when I went down, the lady said, "she's been fussy for awhile and I think she has a stuffy nose." I didn't even hesitate; I grabbed Nyla and said "I'm taking her home."

I had a new mom freakout. It wasn't the nursery, it wasn't the people taking care of her; I just freaked out at the thought that Nyla might be sick. It was like tunnel-vision for me. I grabbed Nyla's stuff, wrapped the girl up, grabbed my work stuff, and headed home early. No second thoughts, no trying to wait it out and see how Nyla does. I just picked up and left.

Of course I told my supervisors and had my classes covered, but in all respects I just left. It surprised me how automatic my response was to this stuffy nose. I just wanted to get Nyla home and snuggle with her and protect her from any more potential germs!

Turns out, Nyla was fine, just hot and so she got stuffy. Hmph...I didn't know that. :) Now I know, and so next time I won't have to run screaming out of the building over a stuffy nose.

I Have A Sign On My Forehead

According to my daughter, I have a sign on my forehead that only she can read. It says BARF ON ME. Over the last 48 hours, I have been barfed on three times. Twice just on the shoulder and once straight down the boobs. How lovely.

How many times has Paul been barfed on lately? None. Zero times. Nyla barfs all over me then laughs and goes over to her father. Yes, she actually chuckles a little like she is satisfied with herself. "Hahahaha mom, I threw up on you. Awww daddy I love you." That's her train of thought, I know it!

I always tell her, "Nyla you are lucky I love you." It's so funny because she can totally spew all over me and I still feel the urge to give her kisses. That must be true love: kissing even after barfing.

"Who, me?"

Things That Happened Today

It's not even 1 and here is a rundown of what has happened already.

1. Nyla spit up on her clothes right after I put them on her at 6:30 this morning.
2. Upon arrival at school, she snuggled with our secretary. Also, she pooped while being snuggled.
3. I went to change Nyla, and she continued to poop on me. At work.
4. Dropped Nyla off at the nursery. No tears today. Whew!
5. When I went to pick Nyla up at lunch, she was in the middle of getting another poop diaper changed. Hooray! Two poops in one day. But...
6. ...while being changed, she continued to poop all over a the student who was changing her and the changing table.
7. Walking back into the office and getting ready to leave, Nyla barfed all over me. At work.
8. To cap off this day, she scratched herself on the cheek, which in turn led to an all-out crying fit. 

It's safe to say that today has been eventful. Now homegirl is passed out on the couch.

Never a dull moment with this monkey.

My First Mother's Day

What a great feeling! Celebrating Mother's Day! Today was my first Mother's Day...well, I celebrated last year because we had our puppy, Okie. Yeah, I celebrated because I was a mom to a dog. Don't judge.  But this year, I have an actual human baby! What a fun-filled day! Nyla started it off just right by sleeping! We snuggled together until almost 9 a.m. Incredible! And to make my day more special, Nyla even refrained from peeing on me! Thank you, Nyla!

My husband is the best and he woke up extra early and went to get me a cup of coffee and a croissant. What a wonderful man. Then it was movie time with my aunties, cousin, and my own mother.

Speaking of my mother, now that I have become a mom, I feel like I understand her more completely now than ever before. I now understand her love that she has for me (thanks mom). I understand the sacrifices she has made for me. I understand the struggles she has gone through for me. Well, not all of the struggles...we still have the teenage years to trudge through. :)

But now that I am a mother, I get it. You know when people say, "You'll understand when you're a parent" they're totally speaking the truth. In the short seven weeks that Nyla has been in this world, I understand all those little things that only parents understand. I'm like a part of this parent in-crowd. For example, I now know that, yes, it is possible to ignore your child's empty cry. Three months ago, I was the person completely irritated at the mothers and fathers who let their kids cry without consoling. That drove me up the wall and generally I'd shoot dirty looks at the parents. Now, I can just let Nyla cry and honestly not be irritated by it. I understand that I can't console Nyla all the time; I'll give her a complex if I do.

To all you moms out there, new and experienced, hats off to you! What a job we have. There's something else I now understand being a parent. This is a job, and it's a hard one. But it really is totally rewarding and fulfilling.

To my mother, Katerina. You're wonderful. I love you. Thanks for loving me and caring for me for almost 30 years. You're the best.

The Many Faces of Nyla

Our daughter is one of the most expressive babies I've ever been around. See below. These are just her faces after waking up from a nap. All these photos were taken within five minutes.

Big stretch

Looking for the thumb

"I can't hear you!"

"Ooh what's that?"

"What's THAT?!"

"That's disgusting."

"Oh mom..."

"Hi everyone!"

Trying to reach for something

lol

Looking to start crying here.

Super stretch 

"Oh geez guys"

Squishy face

"Oooh hi mom"

Working hard to fart

Yawn/Smile

"Oh hello everyone."

"Oooh that's interesting"

"Mom, I gotta fart."

"I'm pretty"

"Uhhhh I don't think so."

Stretching to the wall

"Give me a kiss please"

This is her focus face.

"Please...I want a kiss"

"KISS ME!"

Relief

"Aw mom, I'm happy"

Thinking about crying

"Yuck...that was gross."

Just sticking her tongue out at me.

We love her terribly. :)

That Was Traumatic...For Me.

Today was my first day back at work. I psyched myself up all night last night, thinking positive thoughts, concentrating on the fact that it was only for a few short weeks. I started my day getting a Starbucks and continuing to repeat my mantra: It's only a few weeks. It's only a few weeks.

I was doing really well until I opened the door to the school. The tears were threatening at the first step in the school, but I kept my composure. My colleagues were really happy to see me back, and I was happy to see them too. But still, the tears were lined up. I went to my classroom and kept chanting my mantra.

Finally, it was just before 8 and I knew it was time for her to go downstairs. We have a nursery at our school so it's really convenient for her to be so close. I snuggled Nyla real close and gave her some kisses as we walked down to the nursery. You would think I was walking to my death or something with how depressed I'm sure I looked.

We got into the room and I just broke. I couldn't even help it. I feel like crying now just remembering how it felt. I cried the whole time I was down there.  I cried walking back up the stairs. I cried when I got back into my classroom. I cried at any moment the kids weren't focused on me. It was awful.

I don't know why it was so hard for me to be away from her. She's been away from us before and I've never had this reaction. But today was just ridiculous. It's not like I'm dropping her off at a daycare across town; she's maybe 1,000 yards away from me at any point in time during the work day. But it was just hard today. There's no other word for it. It was hard.

I was able to go down during lunch and my prep period to see her, but I'm not sure that helped my situation/mindset at all. It just made me remember how much I was missing her.

At one point, I considered just quitting my job immediately because this was not amusing to me in the least. But what good would that do, right? At some point in life, I need to stop being so attached to her and be away from her. One day she will ride a bus to kindergarten. One day she will go on a date with a boy (Lord help her father). One day she will move away to college.

I know that all parents go through this. Everyone tells you that it will be difficult, but that it gets better. I always thought, "Yeah, yeah it'll be hard. I'll be fine." Well contrary to my belief, no, I was not fine.

Tomorrow is a new day though. Maybe I will only cry in the nursery, up the stairs, and in the classroom but not while kids are around. That would be an improvement from today.

A Night for the Books!

Mark the date down! Last night, Nyla slept through the WHOLE night! After 6.5 weeks of middle of the night feedings, our girl slept for almost 8 hours in a row! Success! I'm not going to get all presumptive and think that she'll do this tonight, too. But what a wonderful feeling...SLEEP!

But alas, we couldn't just have an uneventful night. The only thing that woke us up last night was our yellow Lab, Okie, barfing. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm beginning to think that that's a mantra for parenting. If it's not one thing, it's another. If Nyla's acting normal, Okie's barfing. If Okie is just relaxing, Nyla is pooping out her pants. If Nyla's not pooping out her pants, she's barfing in my face. Sigh...that's parenthood I guess.

On another note, tomorrow is my first day back to work. Yesterday, I think I was fully depressed. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just wanted to be with my girl. Even Paul noticed that I wasn't feeling myself. The thought of being away from Nyla is just sad to me. I know every working mother feels this way. Thankfully, I'm a  teacher and so I only have a few weeks until summer vacation. Three months with my sweet girl will be wonderful! I'm looking forward to being back in the classroom; I wish I was working only halftime though. Hmmm...I can make it. School is out June 9th so I only have a month.

Lastly, I'm pretty excited to celebrate my first Mother's Day this weekend! Last year I was able to semi-celebrate because we had Okie. Yes, I am a mother to a dog. :) But this year, I've got an actual human child and so I get to celebrate being her mama! My aunt sent me some beautiful roses yesterday and that made me feel quite special! Thank you Aunt Tere Sue!

What would I like for Mother's Day? Let's see: a 5-hour nap, a glass of champagne, snuggles with my girls, a backrub from my husband, another 5-hour nap.

Oh, I'd also like for Nyla to sleep 8 hours again. :)

Our 6-week-old Turkey

Paul and I have been curious as to how much Nyla weighs now. We know she's gained weight; you can see it in her rolls on her legs and her three chins. She's too adorable for words! Now, we have confirmation that she's up in weight. I took her to the doctor today to see about her baby acne and to get her weighed. At six weeks of age, our girl is 11 pounds 8 ounces! 11 POUNDS! Holy moly! The doctor puts her in the 75th percentile for babies her age. That means she is heavier than 75% of all the other babies at this age! I told her doctor, "Well, she is part Samoan. We like to eat." He laughed and agreed with me.

She is a butterball turkey for sure! See the pictures below. I can't believe how much she has grown! It seems impossible that she was ever as small as she was at birth!

Little Nyla, I sure do love you and so does your daddy. And your sister, Okie!



Nyla: 1 week



Nyla: 6 weeks. This is her "Power to the People" pose

They're Out of Control

Of all the things that I can't control right now, my breasts and their milk are number 1. They're leaking in public, they're spraying my daughter's face, and now they're showering other people!

We spent the weekend with my family in Tualatin and had a great time. Saturday evening, I was feeding Nyla and my cousin and aunt were with me, and we were just chatting away about whatever. Nyla decided she wanted to get in on the conversation, so she stopped eating and pulled away. Again, the milk came spewing out in a constant stream! This time, it wasn't Nyla that only got milk on her; now other people were getting sprayed! And the pillow Nyla was lying on was getting showered! Hello, boobs! Get it under control!

The fun didn't end there. We got home last night, and when we went to bed, I was able to lay on my stomach for the first time in over NINE MONTHS! I'm a stomach sleeper, so it felt glorious! Too bad when I woke up to feed Nyla around 3 a.m., I realized that I had leaked through my nursing pads, through my sleep shirt, and onto the bed! Apparently all the pressure from lying on my chest just kept the milk flowing all night. There were two fairly large wet spots where my chest was on the sheets. Perfect.

No one tells you this stuff! Maybe it should be common knowledge, but I didn't know. I did not know that I would be spraying people with breastmilk. I did not know that my chest would leak all the time. Hello, parenting magazines and books! How about a heads up?

Sigh...it's a new week. I will try to get these things under control, especially since I'm back to work on Thursday!