The Exorcist

My child projectile vomited on me this morning.

A long story short, apparently I overfed her this morning, giving her more than she wanted or needed, and the excess (which was substantial) was catapulted out of her mouth and onto my face, shoulders, chest, and arms. How delicious.

What do you do when your child barfs on you, you ask? Well, if you were me, you'd sit there dumbfounded as the liquid made its way down your bra, down your shirt, and oozing into the top of your pants. What a lovely morning.

I didn't know what to do! Yes, I needed to clean myself off, but my baby was also sick! So what do you do? After getting over the initial shock of The Exorcist Reincarnate, I carried Nyla over to the sink and rinsed her off. Then I put her in her Pack and Play, gave her a toy to play with, and then rinsed myself off.

A word to the wise: do not ever overfeed your child. Not only is it bad for the baby, it's heinous when it comes back out at you.

The End of Life As We Know It

This weekend has been a momentous one for us and our Nyla. On Friday, she learned how to effectively get herself up on her knees in her crib. When I went in to get her, she was on her knees smiling and laughing, super proud of herself.

Then Saturday morning hit, and when I went in to get her, she was standing on her feet. STANDING. Homegirl was standing all the way up trying to grab the blankets and stuffed animals that we have on the dresser next to her crib. Oh hell no. It wasn't even 24 hours before that she was just kneeling!

And here we are at the end of life as we know it. I fear this week, and the coming years, will be one big joyride with this girl. I better start stretching in the morning and getting ready to chase this monkey all over the house. Time to also start putting everything up and out of reach.

It's like she's really a human now. Before, especially in the first few months, she was like a breathing lump. You could set her some place and turn your back for a second and be assured that when you turned back around, she would still be there. That is absolutely not the case anymore. I've already had to catch her from slamming her head onto the Pack and Play, falling off the couch, trying to bite Okie on the nose, and trying to climb toward the TV. And that all happened just on Friday! Seven days a week we have this real life human! Teacup human for sure, but a human! I can't believe it! She smiles when you smile. She cries when you talk too loud. She laughs, burps, tries to babble with you, snuggles, and slobber kisses just like a human. I love it!

But don't worry, she's not growing up super fast. She still does this:

Nyla, please don't hate your mama for this in the future. :)

What Happened to Nap Time?

You may have noticed that it has been four days since I've written last. Well that's because homegirl has given up on naps altogether. It was for about a week that I was having loads of success by putting Nyla upstairs in her crib for a nap and she'd sleep for an hour and a half. This was the time where I was able to get stuff done around the house and purge my thoughts about parenthood here on this blog.

This precious quiet time has not come to me this week, though. Nyla has just decided that, no, she does not want to take a nap upstairs. She can be mouth-open, snoring, lax-arm passed out sleeping on my lap. I can successfully make it to the stairs, up the stairs, but then she must sense her crib because right when I'm at the threshold of her room, her eyes fly open. I've even done the whole "let her cry" thing, assuming she'll cry herself back to sleep. I've given up on this, though, because one day when I did that, she cried for almost 45 minutes. I was like "What the heck, Nyla? Go to sleep." Well give me the Mother of the Year award because when I went up to check on her, it turns out she was crying not because she wasn't tired; she was crying because she had pooped. Incredible mothering skills there.

Where does Nyla like to nap? Right on my lap. I know I should go back to putting her in her crib, but right now, I'm taking that time to just relax. I'm totally fine zoning out to an episode of NCIS while she naps. Silence is golden these days.

PS: the child has learned to fully crawl. Nothing is safe. Someone send bumpers. :)

Feeling A Little Off

Last night Paul and I went through our nightly routine. Nyla gets a diaper change around 8:30, then it's time for rice cereal and whatever food we're eating this week (it's sweet potatoes right now), then a little 4 ounce bottle, then nighty-night Nyla! Usually, Nyla is very responsive to the food and goes right to sleep.

Last night, she was not into sleeping at all. This isn't really a problem on most days, but last night...man, it irritated me beyond reason. I was actually mad that she wasn't going to sleep. I couldn't even take joy in her squealing and moving around when we went back downstairs. I was so irritated.

Why? I have no idea. Maybe I was irritated at Nyla, maybe at Paul for going to sleep, maybe at the fact that I couldn't go to sleep, maybe at the fact that I wouldn't get my alone time that night. Who knows? I was irritated though. No smiling from me, no laughing, nothing.

Isn't that weird? Usually if I'm feeling grumpy, Nyla cheers me right up with her giggling and squirming. But last night, I was annoyed with it. I just wanted her to go to sleep. I guess I treasure my time at night; it's quiet and I am able to do what I want. But last night, I didn't get that and in my own way, I threw a fit. Hello, am I 5? Get over it, Elizabeth!

When I watch that show Teen Mom and the girls are always mad about their loss of freedom, I always roll my eyes thinking hello, you have a child now. Freedoms are gone. Now look at me, behaving just like a 15-year-old, yearning for past freedoms. And what a silly freedom I'm wanting: alone time at night. Quietness.

But isn't this the desire of all moms? Quiet time. Especially stay-at-home moms, who are surrounded by the chaos and noise of their children all day long. My dream come true right now is silence. Blissful silence. Last night when I didn't get that, my inner-self was angry.

But do not worry, after about an hour (yes, she was up that long), I was able to push out of my irritation and find happiness with being with my Nyla. And she answered my prayers last night by sleeping until 7:30 this morning. Whew!

Lesson for me: take deep breaths when things don't go your way. Hello, you have a child now. Freedoms are gone.

The Baby Bjorn

We received a Baby Bjorn from our cousins at our baby shower. We tried to use it early when Nyla was born but she was too small. So we decided to wait a bit and bring it out again when she was bigger. Apparently we have almost waited too long. Yesterday we decided to use the BB, as I like to call it, instead of the stroller at the mall. Paul and I had to have a practice suit-up at home so we wouldn't look like amateurs in the parking lot. Let's just say that Nyla is snug in it.

I looked at the labels yesterday. The limit for length is 28". The limit for weight is like 26 pounds. Hmph. Miss Nyla is coming around to those numbers in a hurry. I was afraid that she wouldn't fit, but luckily she did!

We faced her outward so she could look at all the people and clothes and colors and shops while we walked around. She was ecstatic! She spent the entire time smiling and laughing and saying hi to people. Okay, not literally saying hi; more like drooling uncontrollably anytime someone came around.

Here are a few things I did not anticipate while using the BB:

1. Nyla kicked me in the tummy and hips the entire time. Not like on purpose, but she would flail her legs and arms around when she was excited, thus kicking me in the hips. This also meant that there were a few times where she also slapped me in the face. It's like being a punching bag.

2. My back was killing me by the end of the afternoon. Hello, I felt like I was pregnant...again. Homegirl is heavy to carry.

3. I must prepare myself better for the onslaught of complete strangers who want to coo and make baby faces at Nyla. I am just minding my own business and women are coming out from behind the racks and around the cash registers all to make silly baby noises and faces at Nylabear. Of course Nyla obliged them with a smile and I tried to smile too. But it was so weird; I just couldn't believe how many times I had to stop and let Nyla say hi to people.

4. I need to move quickly with the BB. I cannot linger around things. If I linger, they end up in Nyla's mouth. I stopped once in front of a rack of clothes and let my guard down for just a second; next thing you know, Nyla had the hanger all the way in her mouth. All those tasty germs...

5. I also need to be careful of walls and corners and things jutting out. When I was pregnant, I used to run into things all the time with my belly. Not on purpose of course, but it wasn't abnormal for me to run into the door when I turned around, for example. I used to also run into people with my belly. Now, with Nyla in the BB, it's the same concept. There is a humongous, heavy baby sticking out in front of me. But the difference now is that I can't be running into things all the time; I don't want to hurt my Nylabear!

All in all, the BB is a dream. I love not having to carry her carseat. It takes up less room than the stroller, although the stroller is my favorite form of baby transportation. I like having Nyla close to me. I think the BB will come out again soon. Nyla loved it, that's for sure!

Happy girl in the BB

A Great Morning

There is nothing better than hearing the baby cry, looking at the clock, and realizing that she has slept through the entire night! YES!

This morning, Nyla started to fuss around and I thought to myself, "It had better be after 3 a.m." Lo and behold, I looked at the clock at it was 6:15! 6:15!!!!! Yes! She fell asleep last night around 9 and slept all the way through the night! I love it!

But I have learned, do not get excited about this; it will not last. So I just take my full night's sleep when I can get them.

Here's something I don't understand. I'm a stay-at-home mom right now. How come Fridays still make me happy? It's not like tomorrow I will have the day off from Nyla. And Mondays are still gross and I wake up on Mondays with a little sluggishness. Maybe I like Fridays because I know that the weekend is here, which means that Paul has nighttime duty! That's probably why Mondays are still gross because I know that it's back to getting up in the middle of the night for me.

Lastly, since Nyla has begun eating food, her poo-poos are getting quite odiferous. Rank, if you will. If she were an adult, we would refer to her as being stank because, man, she can clear a room! Today I made the mistake of changing her poo diaper in the living room. Never going to do that again. Hello, the whole house is perfumed with the scent of baby cereal, pureed peaches, prune juice (yes we still have to use it), and something rotting. Mmm, delicious. Bleh.

6 Months Ago Today...

...our angel baby was born! Oh goodness, have six months already gone by? So fast! I tell Paul all the time, I hope her life doesn't go by this fast. I hope our life as a couple and as a family don't go by this fast either.

Most (if not all) women say that the day their baby was born was the greatest day of their life. In some ways, yes that's true for me, but really, in terms of how I was feeling and the whole process, the day Nyla was born was disastrous.

My blood pressure had spiked about three weeks before Nyla was born. I was put on medication and strict orders to not overdo myself (although I stayed working!), and we decided with the doctor that we would induce labor on the morning of March 15th. Paul and I were elated! We finally had an end in sight and knew when we were going to finally meet our girl!

We checked in, per doctor's orders, the night before to just monitor me and the baby for a few hours. Then at 5 a.m. on Tuesday, March 15th, they started the Pitocin to induce labor. They also gave me a cervical exam. Nothing better than waking up at 5 a.m. to be spread eagle and have a nurse probe you. Lovely.

The Pitocin started at a small dose and the nurses assured me, "Oh Elizabeth, the contractions will start right away. You'll start feeling the pain and the cervix will open. We should have a baby by the early afternoon." 10 a.m. passes, 11, 12, 1, 2...nothing. No baby. No cervix opening. No progression of dilating. In this time, I had been examined at least once every hour. There is just no modesty in childbirth.

Sure, I was having contractions, but they weren't doing anything. Damnit. So they upped the Pitocin. The contractions got stronger, the examinations got more frequent, but still nothing. The doctor came in around 5, and I wanted to rip his balls off because I was in a fair amount of pain.

"Well Elizabeth, let's go for another few hours. I'll be back at 9 (!!) and if we're in the same situation, we'll deliver via C-section...unless you'd like to wait." NO I WOULD NOT LIKE TO WAIT.

Four hours pass, I'm about to kill Paul, I'm nauseated, there's nothing good on TV, I'm still being examined, Nyla is rolling all over the place in my tummy, and the contractions are coming one after the other. Did I dilate? NO. Ugh.

The nurse suggested a bath to comfort me. There's nothing more comforting than being the size of a whale, taking a bath in front of your husband and nurses. I can assure you, I was the definition of disgusting.

The bath was the catalyst for Nyla's delivery. When I got out and back on the monitors, Nyla had relaxed so much that she fell asleep. Her heart rate was dropping and my blood pressure was unstable. We made the executive decision around 9:30 to have the baby delivered via C-section. Now I thought that if I had to have a Cesarean, I would be devastated. In reality, it was quite the opposite reaction. I was thrilled! I was ecstatic! I was ready to not be pregnant anymore!

Into the operating room I went, and they just about bolted me down to the table like the character on the game Operation. I was numbed up and ready to deliver the baby. Paul was able to come in and sit by my head, although I would have preferred him to be anywhere else because I thought I was going to barf on him the whole time. There are no words for the amount of nausea that was waving over me.

"Okay Paul, stand up!" and it was at that moment that our Nylabear was delivered. I will forever be jealous of Paul because he has known her since literally her first second of life. The very first moment she entered the world, Paul was there to see it. I'm surprised Paul didn't pass out from the different emotions he was feeling.

They brought Nyla over for, what's supposed to be, the greatest moment of a mother's life: her first look and kiss for the baby. Yeah, I was excited to see her, but I actually had to have them move her away because I was afraid of barfing on her. What a lovely first impression that would have made for Nyla. "Oh there's my mommy...she just barfed on me!" No thank you.

I don't remember much after that. I remember them rolling me down the hall with Nyla in front of me, I remember getting back to the room and barfing. But then everything is a blur until the first time I held my Nyla. I remember that very clearly. That was the greatest moment of my life. Nothing compares to that moment for me. And my first thought for her: "You look like your daddy."

Nylabear, I love you. I am so glad you're in my life. I have waited forever for you. Thank you for being here and completing my life.

My sweet girl. 

Mommy Needs A Timeout

Thank you Nyla for sleeping all night last night. Mommy completely needed it! I'm thinking she needed it too. She started squirming last night around 2:30 and I thought to myself, "Not again." But then homegirl just fell back asleep. Yes!

You know, I love my Nyla. But this not consistently sleeping is for the birds. I'm over it. I'm ready for her to sleep through the night for like a week straight. I'm sleep deprived, for sure. When I don't get good sleep, I'm highly irritable. I don't take it out on Nyla, though; it's not like she's doing it on purpose. Most of the time, I just get irritable with Paul. Isn't that awful? But he just so happens to be the only adult that comes around that I can dump my "I haven't slept in a week" load on a daily basis. Poor guy. I try not to irritate him, but sometimes it just happens.

I mostly find myself going to my happy place in my mind, which is a calming beach with my hammock and me swinging as the ocean waves lap around me. The reality is that I'm usually sitting in the middle of a toy-decorated living room with a child farting in my face or trying to eat my nose or (my favorite) crying. This makes for a distressing situation.

There are days where I feel like I need a timeout. I need time to be alone: no baby, no husband, no dog, no children's toys, no Yo Gabba Gabba, no bouncy chair with its stupid song, no changing diapers. I need a quiet timeout. Thankfully Paul is understanding about this. Sometimes I'll go to Target, sometimes it's to the library. It doesn't matter where I go, as long as it's my own time by myself. That I feel is my savior right now. If I didn't have my alone time, I'm relatively certain I would be pulling my hair out in clumps...hourly.

Growth Spurt?

It seems like overnight that Nyla has lengthened and gotten heavier. Carrying her in her car seat is ridiculously heavy and her legs and feet hang out of the end. So now I have to be really careful about when I carry her in the car seat. I used to not worry about accidentally bumping into doors or walls because I knew that she was fully contained. Now I have to be very careful that I don't ram her fingers or her little sausage toes into the doors.

And now that we may happen to be in another growth spurt, homegirl is totally against sleeping. It's like her own personal agenda to wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake. Take today for example, we have been awake since 3:30 a.m. She went back to sleep for about an hour around 5:30, but that's about it. I had to throw in the towel and put her up in her crib about 15 minutes ago for a nap. She's screaming away right now, but it's the sleepy cry. No wonder, Nyla! You've been awake for almost 10 hours!

Mommy also needs a nap, but alas there is cleaning and laundry to be done. These are the days that justify consuming an abundance of coffee. Someone bring me a triple grande nonfat stirred caramel macchiato...STAT. :)

Sleep, Why Have Thou Forsaken Me?

Uh, hello? I thought we were starting to get more sleep? I thought Nyla was getting used to sleeping through the night? I thought the middle of the night wake-ups were close to done?

Apparently not.

I guess I shouldn't get used to anything in the first year or so, as nothing is really predictable with her right now. Just when she's starting to sleep well, she stops. Just when the constipation is seemingly over, it returns. Just when she stops spitting up, she does it on my face. Lovely.

It's all good though, I'm just happy to be a stay-at-home mom right now. I was telling Paul the other day that I was feeling kind of guilty for staying home. I mean, this is the first time in 14 years that I haven't had school or a job to go to everyday. It feels weird to not have somewhere to go at a specific time in the morning. But I don't feel guilty about it anymore; I feel comfort in the fact that I am taking care of Nyla. I know, first-hand, that she's safe and happy and can get the snuggles in when she wants them. Plus, I'm saving us upwards of $1,000 a month on childcare.

The downside of being a SAHM? Hello, I don't even get dressed or comb my hair. I'm one of those moms. The ones who look like a hurricane has gone around their head all night long. I see the moms who are put together and have nicely coifed hair and I just want to spit on them. Where do they get the time to do that? At least I haven't gone so far as to wear my pajamas out in public. Well, I wear them through the Starbucks drive-thru but not if I have to get out of the car! That would be crossing the line for me...and Paul.

We'll See How Long I Last

Today is the first day that I've had Nyla upstairs in her crib for a nap while I'm downstairs. I'm using our baby monitors to listen for her, but I know she's sleepy so I'm ignoring her sleepy-cry. I've never done this before. Usually I'll rock her to sleep or nurse her until she's knocked out. Nyla really has no concept of falling asleep on her own, so today I'm trying to see if she'll do it.

So as I type, she's upstairs hollering away, but not like the psycho-baby cry. It's the "mommy, come get me" cry. I'm going to give her 15 minutes and see how she goes. Now let's see if I actually last all 15 minutes. I have to have some willpower here. I don't want Nyla to be 2.5 years old and still needing to be rocked to go to sleep.

I figure I'll re-watch the True Blood from the other night to keep me from going upstairs.

9 minutes later: she's having an all-out fit right now. But the sleepy cry is still there. Will continue watching True Blood.

17 minutes later: SHE'S ASLEEP! yesyesyesyesyes!

Have We Found Sleep?

Hello, 9 hours of sleep. Why have you strayed from me for so long? I'm glad you have returned!

Last night, homegirl KILLED IT with the sleep, going for 9 hours straight! NINE HOURS. Mommy and Daddy love that, Nyla! And how did we get all this sleep? We fed her to the brim last night. She had a bowl of rice cereal and applesauce and I nursed her until she was overcome with post-eating sleepiness. YES.

Don't judge that we fed our daughter that much to get her to sleep. Apparently this is the reason why she has been waking up in the middle of the night: she's hungry! So we're going to continue and see if this is actually the remedy for sleeplessness.

I feel like a new woman. Thank you Nylabear for all that sleep. The funniest part is that when I woke up and looked at the clock, I panicked because it's been so long since she's slept that much! I raced into her room to look at her and there she was, knocked out still. I was able to actually brush my teeth without her crying this morning. When she finally woke up, she didn't even fuss. She just rolled over onto her back, grabbed her little blanket, and started cooing and laughing at the ceiling. Apparently the sleep helped her renew herself too! Love it!

Happy baby = happy mommy

Frog In Her Throat?

Poor Nylabear has a little congestion in her throat. :( When she cries or laughs or talks, her voice is a little rugged and rough. I hate that.

Really, I hate anytime that our angel isn't feeling well. When she cries over constipation, I hate that. When she hits herself with her rattle, I hate that. But above all, I hate when our little monkey isn't feeling good, like today. I heard the little scratch in her voice last night, but today it's a little more pronounced. She doesn't seem any worse for the wear with it, but I hear it so I'm all about snuggling her and just sending good, healthy vibes her way.

It's really hard for me to want to put her down for a nap when she's like this too. If she falls asleep after nursing, I just want to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. But alas, she must take her own nap on her own bed or Pack-N-Play...otherwise she'll get wayyyyy too comfortable with me holding her and she'll want it all the time. Nyla, I do love you but no, we're not going to hold you all the time.

Nylabear I hope your voice feels better soon. If I could, I would dropkick whoever passed this little frog in your throat to you. Jerks. (Watch, it was probably me or Paul lol)

Overrated

You know, I thought that having a baby in bed with us would be a wonderful experience. It would be all snuggles and cuddling and kisses. Baby Nyla would just crawl right up to me and tuck her head into me and she would just coo herself to sleep. We would sleep soundly for 8 hours, waking up refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to face the world.

It is absolutely not like that.

My brother has been here and he's been staying in Nyla's room, so she has been in bed with us for the last two nights. There's no snuggling; there's no cuddling. And there is most definitely no 8 hours of sleep! Homegirl has her own agenda while she sleeps, and at the top of that agenda: kick and punch Mommy and Daddy all night. She sleeps insane.

I've tried to keep a hand on her at all times just to know where she is and give myself a peace of mind. Yesterday morning, I woke up holding her ankle and her head was down by my knees on top of the covers. How she got there, I don't know. Seriously, I think she does her little acrobatic tricks when we're asleep.

It's not even good sleep either! I spend almost the entire night in that half-sleep state, where some of my brain is turned off but I'm mostly awake, afraid I'm going to roll on her or land an elbow on her face. So instead of having lovely, snuggly, cuddly, deep sleep, we're having probably the worst sleep of our lives besides when she was a newborn.

We cannot wait for that crib to be available again. Yes, I have loved having her near, but I'm ready to sleep and I'm ready to stretch out. Call me selfish, that's okay.