Thank you Nyla for sleeping all night last night. Mommy completely needed it! I'm thinking she needed it too. She started squirming last night around 2:30 and I thought to myself, "Not again." But then homegirl just fell back asleep. Yes!
You know, I love my Nyla. But this not consistently sleeping is for the birds. I'm over it. I'm ready for her to sleep through the night for like a week straight. I'm sleep deprived, for sure. When I don't get good sleep, I'm highly irritable. I don't take it out on Nyla, though; it's not like she's doing it on purpose. Most of the time, I just get irritable with Paul. Isn't that awful? But he just so happens to be the only adult that comes around that I can dump my "I haven't slept in a week" load on a daily basis. Poor guy. I try not to irritate him, but sometimes it just happens.
I mostly find myself going to my happy place in my mind, which is a calming beach with my hammock and me swinging as the ocean waves lap around me. The reality is that I'm usually sitting in the middle of a toy-decorated living room with a child farting in my face or trying to eat my nose or (my favorite) crying. This makes for a distressing situation.
There are days where I feel like I need a timeout. I need time to be alone: no baby, no husband, no dog, no children's toys, no Yo Gabba Gabba, no bouncy chair with its stupid song, no changing diapers. I need a quiet timeout. Thankfully Paul is understanding about this. Sometimes I'll go to Target, sometimes it's to the library. It doesn't matter where I go, as long as it's my own time by myself. That I feel is my savior right now. If I didn't have my alone time, I'm relatively certain I would be pulling my hair out in clumps...hourly.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Growth Spurt?
It seems like overnight that Nyla has lengthened and gotten heavier. Carrying her in her car seat is ridiculously heavy and her legs and feet hang out of the end. So now I have to be really careful about when I carry her in the car seat. I used to not worry about accidentally bumping into doors or walls because I knew that she was fully contained. Now I have to be very careful that I don't ram her fingers or her little sausage toes into the doors.
And now that we may happen to be in another growth spurt, homegirl is totally against sleeping. It's like her own personal agenda to wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake. Take today for example, we have been awake since 3:30 a.m. She went back to sleep for about an hour around 5:30, but that's about it. I had to throw in the towel and put her up in her crib about 15 minutes ago for a nap. She's screaming away right now, but it's the sleepy cry. No wonder, Nyla! You've been awake for almost 10 hours!
Mommy also needs a nap, but alas there is cleaning and laundry to be done. These are the days that justify consuming an abundance of coffee. Someone bring me a triple grande nonfat stirred caramel macchiato...STAT. :)
And now that we may happen to be in another growth spurt, homegirl is totally against sleeping. It's like her own personal agenda to wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake. Take today for example, we have been awake since 3:30 a.m. She went back to sleep for about an hour around 5:30, but that's about it. I had to throw in the towel and put her up in her crib about 15 minutes ago for a nap. She's screaming away right now, but it's the sleepy cry. No wonder, Nyla! You've been awake for almost 10 hours!
Mommy also needs a nap, but alas there is cleaning and laundry to be done. These are the days that justify consuming an abundance of coffee. Someone bring me a triple grande nonfat stirred caramel macchiato...STAT. :)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Sleep, Why Have Thou Forsaken Me?
Uh, hello? I thought we were starting to get more sleep? I thought Nyla was getting used to sleeping through the night? I thought the middle of the night wake-ups were close to done?
Apparently not.
I guess I shouldn't get used to anything in the first year or so, as nothing is really predictable with her right now. Just when she's starting to sleep well, she stops. Just when the constipation is seemingly over, it returns. Just when she stops spitting up, she does it on my face. Lovely.
It's all good though, I'm just happy to be a stay-at-home mom right now. I was telling Paul the other day that I was feeling kind of guilty for staying home. I mean, this is the first time in 14 years that I haven't had school or a job to go to everyday. It feels weird to not have somewhere to go at a specific time in the morning. But I don't feel guilty about it anymore; I feel comfort in the fact that I am taking care of Nyla. I know, first-hand, that she's safe and happy and can get the snuggles in when she wants them. Plus, I'm saving us upwards of $1,000 a month on childcare.
The downside of being a SAHM? Hello, I don't even get dressed or comb my hair. I'm one of those moms. The ones who look like a hurricane has gone around their head all night long. I see the moms who are put together and have nicely coifed hair and I just want to spit on them. Where do they get the time to do that? At least I haven't gone so far as to wear my pajamas out in public. Well, I wear them through the Starbucks drive-thru but not if I have to get out of the car! That would be crossing the line for me...and Paul.
Apparently not.
I guess I shouldn't get used to anything in the first year or so, as nothing is really predictable with her right now. Just when she's starting to sleep well, she stops. Just when the constipation is seemingly over, it returns. Just when she stops spitting up, she does it on my face. Lovely.
It's all good though, I'm just happy to be a stay-at-home mom right now. I was telling Paul the other day that I was feeling kind of guilty for staying home. I mean, this is the first time in 14 years that I haven't had school or a job to go to everyday. It feels weird to not have somewhere to go at a specific time in the morning. But I don't feel guilty about it anymore; I feel comfort in the fact that I am taking care of Nyla. I know, first-hand, that she's safe and happy and can get the snuggles in when she wants them. Plus, I'm saving us upwards of $1,000 a month on childcare.
The downside of being a SAHM? Hello, I don't even get dressed or comb my hair. I'm one of those moms. The ones who look like a hurricane has gone around their head all night long. I see the moms who are put together and have nicely coifed hair and I just want to spit on them. Where do they get the time to do that? At least I haven't gone so far as to wear my pajamas out in public. Well, I wear them through the Starbucks drive-thru but not if I have to get out of the car! That would be crossing the line for me...and Paul.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
We'll See How Long I Last
Today is the first day that I've had Nyla upstairs in her crib for a nap while I'm downstairs. I'm using our baby monitors to listen for her, but I know she's sleepy so I'm ignoring her sleepy-cry. I've never done this before. Usually I'll rock her to sleep or nurse her until she's knocked out. Nyla really has no concept of falling asleep on her own, so today I'm trying to see if she'll do it.
So as I type, she's upstairs hollering away, but not like the psycho-baby cry. It's the "mommy, come get me" cry. I'm going to give her 15 minutes and see how she goes. Now let's see if I actually last all 15 minutes. I have to have some willpower here. I don't want Nyla to be 2.5 years old and still needing to be rocked to go to sleep.
I figure I'll re-watch the True Blood from the other night to keep me from going upstairs.
9 minutes later: she's having an all-out fit right now. But the sleepy cry is still there. Will continue watching True Blood.
17 minutes later: SHE'S ASLEEP! yesyesyesyesyes!
So as I type, she's upstairs hollering away, but not like the psycho-baby cry. It's the "mommy, come get me" cry. I'm going to give her 15 minutes and see how she goes. Now let's see if I actually last all 15 minutes. I have to have some willpower here. I don't want Nyla to be 2.5 years old and still needing to be rocked to go to sleep.
I figure I'll re-watch the True Blood from the other night to keep me from going upstairs.
9 minutes later: she's having an all-out fit right now. But the sleepy cry is still there. Will continue watching True Blood.
17 minutes later: SHE'S ASLEEP! yesyesyesyesyes!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Have We Found Sleep?
Hello, 9 hours of sleep. Why have you strayed from me for so long? I'm glad you have returned!
Last night, homegirl KILLED IT with the sleep, going for 9 hours straight! NINE HOURS. Mommy and Daddy love that, Nyla! And how did we get all this sleep? We fed her to the brim last night. She had a bowl of rice cereal and applesauce and I nursed her until she was overcome with post-eating sleepiness. YES.
Don't judge that we fed our daughter that much to get her to sleep. Apparently this is the reason why she has been waking up in the middle of the night: she's hungry! So we're going to continue and see if this is actually the remedy for sleeplessness.
I feel like a new woman. Thank you Nylabear for all that sleep. The funniest part is that when I woke up and looked at the clock, I panicked because it's been so long since she's slept that much! I raced into her room to look at her and there she was, knocked out still. I was able to actually brush my teeth without her crying this morning. When she finally woke up, she didn't even fuss. She just rolled over onto her back, grabbed her little blanket, and started cooing and laughing at the ceiling. Apparently the sleep helped her renew herself too! Love it!
Happy baby = happy mommy
Last night, homegirl KILLED IT with the sleep, going for 9 hours straight! NINE HOURS. Mommy and Daddy love that, Nyla! And how did we get all this sleep? We fed her to the brim last night. She had a bowl of rice cereal and applesauce and I nursed her until she was overcome with post-eating sleepiness. YES.
Don't judge that we fed our daughter that much to get her to sleep. Apparently this is the reason why she has been waking up in the middle of the night: she's hungry! So we're going to continue and see if this is actually the remedy for sleeplessness.
I feel like a new woman. Thank you Nylabear for all that sleep. The funniest part is that when I woke up and looked at the clock, I panicked because it's been so long since she's slept that much! I raced into her room to look at her and there she was, knocked out still. I was able to actually brush my teeth without her crying this morning. When she finally woke up, she didn't even fuss. She just rolled over onto her back, grabbed her little blanket, and started cooing and laughing at the ceiling. Apparently the sleep helped her renew herself too! Love it!
Happy baby = happy mommy
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Frog In Her Throat?
Poor Nylabear has a little congestion in her throat. :( When she cries or laughs or talks, her voice is a little rugged and rough. I hate that.
Really, I hate anytime that our angel isn't feeling well. When she cries over constipation, I hate that. When she hits herself with her rattle, I hate that. But above all, I hate when our little monkey isn't feeling good, like today. I heard the little scratch in her voice last night, but today it's a little more pronounced. She doesn't seem any worse for the wear with it, but I hear it so I'm all about snuggling her and just sending good, healthy vibes her way.
It's really hard for me to want to put her down for a nap when she's like this too. If she falls asleep after nursing, I just want to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. But alas, she must take her own nap on her own bed or Pack-N-Play...otherwise she'll get wayyyyy too comfortable with me holding her and she'll want it all the time. Nyla, I do love you but no, we're not going to hold you all the time.
Nylabear I hope your voice feels better soon. If I could, I would dropkick whoever passed this little frog in your throat to you. Jerks. (Watch, it was probably me or Paul lol)
Really, I hate anytime that our angel isn't feeling well. When she cries over constipation, I hate that. When she hits herself with her rattle, I hate that. But above all, I hate when our little monkey isn't feeling good, like today. I heard the little scratch in her voice last night, but today it's a little more pronounced. She doesn't seem any worse for the wear with it, but I hear it so I'm all about snuggling her and just sending good, healthy vibes her way.
It's really hard for me to want to put her down for a nap when she's like this too. If she falls asleep after nursing, I just want to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. But alas, she must take her own nap on her own bed or Pack-N-Play...otherwise she'll get wayyyyy too comfortable with me holding her and she'll want it all the time. Nyla, I do love you but no, we're not going to hold you all the time.
Nylabear I hope your voice feels better soon. If I could, I would dropkick whoever passed this little frog in your throat to you. Jerks. (Watch, it was probably me or Paul lol)
Friday, September 2, 2011
Overrated
You know, I thought that having a baby in bed with us would be a wonderful experience. It would be all snuggles and cuddling and kisses. Baby Nyla would just crawl right up to me and tuck her head into me and she would just coo herself to sleep. We would sleep soundly for 8 hours, waking up refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to face the world.
It is absolutely not like that.
My brother has been here and he's been staying in Nyla's room, so she has been in bed with us for the last two nights. There's no snuggling; there's no cuddling. And there is most definitely no 8 hours of sleep! Homegirl has her own agenda while she sleeps, and at the top of that agenda: kick and punch Mommy and Daddy all night. She sleeps insane.
I've tried to keep a hand on her at all times just to know where she is and give myself a peace of mind. Yesterday morning, I woke up holding her ankle and her head was down by my knees on top of the covers. How she got there, I don't know. Seriously, I think she does her little acrobatic tricks when we're asleep.
It's not even good sleep either! I spend almost the entire night in that half-sleep state, where some of my brain is turned off but I'm mostly awake, afraid I'm going to roll on her or land an elbow on her face. So instead of having lovely, snuggly, cuddly, deep sleep, we're having probably the worst sleep of our lives besides when she was a newborn.
We cannot wait for that crib to be available again. Yes, I have loved having her near, but I'm ready to sleep and I'm ready to stretch out. Call me selfish, that's okay.
It is absolutely not like that.
My brother has been here and he's been staying in Nyla's room, so she has been in bed with us for the last two nights. There's no snuggling; there's no cuddling. And there is most definitely no 8 hours of sleep! Homegirl has her own agenda while she sleeps, and at the top of that agenda: kick and punch Mommy and Daddy all night. She sleeps insane.
I've tried to keep a hand on her at all times just to know where she is and give myself a peace of mind. Yesterday morning, I woke up holding her ankle and her head was down by my knees on top of the covers. How she got there, I don't know. Seriously, I think she does her little acrobatic tricks when we're asleep.
It's not even good sleep either! I spend almost the entire night in that half-sleep state, where some of my brain is turned off but I'm mostly awake, afraid I'm going to roll on her or land an elbow on her face. So instead of having lovely, snuggly, cuddly, deep sleep, we're having probably the worst sleep of our lives besides when she was a newborn.
We cannot wait for that crib to be available again. Yes, I have loved having her near, but I'm ready to sleep and I'm ready to stretch out. Call me selfish, that's okay.
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